Shameless Face Fuzz Fund Begging Letter

I am doing charity face fuzz fund-raiser #movember this year to promote awareness of and raise cash for research into male cancers. See pictures….

vic's tash.jpg It has launched me into a misguided 80s retro short-term bid to briefly join the Boro mustache gallery of greats like Yosser Graeme Souness, Tony McAndrew, Big Billy Ashcroft, Alf Common (and indeed every player before WW1), Gentleman George Hardwick, Joey icon David Hodgson, Keith Lamb and Gordon Cox.
I currently look like a cross between a bloke who has been living on a bench for a week and Gary Neville. My target is the full on Lambie, however, the lads have photoshopped a couple of alternative possible looks for me. While singing snippets of “YMCA” every time I walk past.
If some of you throw a couple of bob in, I’ll put the pics up on here as it develops and even take public opinion into account as I startto shape it. My daughter’s suggestion of “grow it like Hitler” has already been ruled out.
To be honest I look a doyle but its for a good cause and you get this wonderful 24/7 blogging service for free so its the least you can do. Donate on-line here, even a quid will do…


24 thoughts on “Shameless Face Fuzz Fund Begging Letter

  1. Come on, AV! Let’s see the colour of your tash! Show us the evidence – even an authenticated doctored photo – and I’ll cough up a tenner.
    **AV writes: Ah, brinkmanship. Let’s see your dosh and I’ll tweet a picture of the fledgling facial furniture tomorrow. Which, by the way, has been cruelly – and wrongly – branded ‘ginger.’
    Come on bloggers, you can donate on-line. It is very easy. Only takes 30 seconds.

  2. A good cause and one, I know, for which it is hard to raise money. I’ll donate £30. But if make sure we beat Blackpool, I’ll double that.
    **AV writes: Top man. Anyone else?
    Mrs V made me shave the little island under my bottom lip off this morning because I “look like an American trucker.” Checked shirts and eating squirrel and grits do that for a dude. I’ll stick the photoshopped passport snaps up tomorrow.

  3. Heh I also look like a Doyle! Doing similar but a full flown beard here unfortunately I suffer the fair man with brown hair curse of a ginger beard and it was already 6 week growth before movember started so right now I look like someone turned carrottops head upside down.

  4. In honour of John Craggs famous Tash,and the other greats from CC,playing in front of nearly full houses I want to bring up the present day pricing, as we keep getting told its too expensive.
    As AV rightly stated, a season ticket amounts to £16 a game and £4 for an under 16. Here is some pricing (walk up)for the Blue Square Prem
    York City £18 / £7
    Gateshead £14 / £2
    Barrow £13 / £5
    Mansfield £18/ £9
    Luton £18 / £8
    Stockport £18 / £3
    I could go on but is there a point? Come on Teesside, time to stop the excuses, bring back the roar of success.

  5. Come on, Vic!! Get on here, and in light of Tweets from the Northern Echo boys about the “news that will make NE footie fans gasp…” but which is embargoed until midnight: you MUST know. Don’t tell me the Echo is the “NE Paper that gets there first!”.
    Clues would be fine. It’s just the suspense. I’ve tried tweeting a few possibilities from the downright unlikely (but very welcome) to the stupidly ridiculous. None have been on the money so far.
    Can’t wait another 40 minutes….and then find it’s only that Northallerton Town have moved into the Darlo Arena in a ground-share move. Or that the monkey has been cleared in a re-trial in Hartlepool after all. Not ANOTHER Juninho return to Teesside, or maybe a few of his up-and-coming youngsters?
    Too much suspense. Stop tending that ‘tache and start investigating (please). News doesn’t stop for bedtime…
    **AV writes: Well it’s embargoed…. but what I will say is that it will probably only make a small, slightly smug story in the Gazette over the fans’ outrage as it is strictly Geordiecentric.
    Agent Ashley, obviously angry that everything has been going really well on the pitch, has decided to stage a massive cultural provocation to wind up the punters again. Think about the last internal outrage at the SJP@sportsdirectashleydome or whatever it is called these days.

  6. Sports Direct United here we come!
    Dont suppose you want South African Rands Vic they are about 13 to the pound at the moment or maybe some blood diamonds from the bottom of the garden.
    **AV writes: Just get the dosh in, any denomination.

  7. I am thinking about some cunning plan to link Tashtic cash to points and goals for Movember.
    There is the half full method where every goal and point in the next three matches is awarded a monetary value which will be totalled and donated after the last match.
    The other method is not surprisingly the half empty method where every goal conceded and point dropped is treated the same way.
    Let me get my calculator out.
    We could always work on a combination of the two. This needs some thinking about.
    **AV writes: Can anyone come up with a suitable tash for cash formula?

  8. Bit of a controversial article penned by yourself in the cyber Gazette AV. Not your style at all. Then I realised it wasn’t you when it mentioned the three legends phone in. Wouldn’t like that article attributed to myself by the way!
    **AV writes: Not me guv! It is Mr Slaven’s weekly hard-hitting soapbox. I cut and pasted it into the box and sent it over to be upload it to the web by the cyber-subs and the software automatically generated a byline. It happens from time to time.

  9. I have chucked a few quid in Ginger lad.
    Why don’t you offer the tash out to prospective sponsors? There must be some company looking to get their brand noticed.
    You could start with “The Evening Gazette Raggytash”..this could hopefully tempt sponsors to invest and place their name on your facial fuzz. I am amazed other people haven’t thought of that strategy before.
    **AV writes: Good thinking. If any businessmen reading see a possible brand awareness/ratty tash synergy please get in touch.
    Thanks for the donation. Anyone else?

  10. Saw a #borolive quote in the Times today reference Ashley’s latest faux pas. Are you sure your are not harbouring premier journo league ambitions AV a la Rhys’s comments?
    **AV writes: Did you? That’s interesting. Obviously all the national journos check on here when they want to take the temperature on the Boro street. That they are dipping into the #borolive twitter feed is a new development. Still, it’s good brand exposure. A couple of the big papers have referred frequently to “the Mogganaut.”

  11. That Mike TASHley eh?
    Sports Direct Stadium ha ha ha !!!
    Has it been re-named to prevent it being corrupted to Sid James Park?!!

  12. Vic, have you texted Rhys to find out what his injury is? Might only be a bruised toe, or a little twinge in the calf that would heal before we have our next Boro game. Rather than a serious pelvic job.
    Mind you, if it is the latter, he might have to ask himself:
    1. Has he been religiously doing the exercises he has been given? (There is a tendency amongst patients to assume “I think I am well now. I don’t need to carry on with the rest of these tablets/exercise regime..”).
    2. If he wants to be a multi-millionaire, earning tens of thousands of pounds a week (so he can retire a rich man in less than 10 years) either at a promoted Boro or at some other Premier League outfit, is it really sensible to be travelling 17 hours (or whatever) each way in a plane to play a meaningless friendly game against….who?
    3. Of course if he has to retire in a year, because this is a recurrence of a previous injury, never having got back to the Premier League with Boro, or with another club, because they realise his medical history does not exactly inspire confidence and he is no longer fit to do the job, I think we could all predict his response.
    Forgive me for caring more about the contribution he might be able to make for the club which has backed him so far, and which pays his wages, than for the Australian national squad and a football game that will hardly make the back page of the Woolagong Herald. As they say: *shakes head in sorrow, but not in surprise*.
    Let’s hope it is not as bad as we fear. Or if it is, a few brain cells might possibly fire into action and influence his future plans.
    **AV writes: He got a knock on a knee and went off under his own steam and went to watch the rest of the game from the dugout rather than down the tunnel for treatment, which is good.
    Personally I don’t like international football being played during the season. Clubs find, recruit, train and pay the players and they should have if not exclusive rights to then certainly first call on their services. Rather than have automatic rights to call up players, nations should need to make a case and have to abide by the club’s terms.
    It is double edged sword. You want to sign the best players possible and that often means they are internationals. You need them to be playing to meet the caps criteria for the work permit. But you don’t want them flying to Antigua in midweek for friendlies against Belize when there is a game 72 hours later.

  13. I have a different view about international footballers.
    I liken it to anywhere cricket club. It has been at its location on the edge of anywhere for 50 years, fields around around it in splendid isolation.
    Along comes Bodge it and Scarper and builds houses all round the ground and sells them to unsuspecting punters who dont like cricket. Cricket balls appear in their back garden so they complain bitterly about the cricket.
    If you dont want international players flying off and playing for their country dont buy them. If you dont like paying their salaries with the risks of losing them dont buy them. Simples!
    Representing your country should be the peak in your chosen sport.
    Imagine a rolling and tumbling Vickers being selected to represent his country only to be told by his school: ‘Sorry, we have trained you and as the star gymnast we need you to be here for the open day at the school.’
    Forget the money, the professional aspect of football. Forget the fact footballers are selfish and well paid. I want no phoney arguements about the club is the heartbeat etc. The analogy stands.
    Personally I find international football is dreary in part because English football is dreary. Most of the skill comes from the overseas players that clubs have filled the game with. If they dont develop their own talent, if they wont allow players to mature, if they go off and buy overseas players then it is their own greedy faults if they go off.
    I was watching an England international in my local and there were a group of subbies who were working nearby. They were all Gooners and moaned about the quality of Englands football, the irony was totally lost upon them.

  14. I am calmer now (but still a little sensitive evey time Rhys Williams rubs his lower back or his hips, and hoping that isn’t a sign that another 12 months football might be lost….)

  15. Not forgetting that some clubs fill their academy with overseas players as well!
    So there, hrumph! Grrrr!
    Sorry for that!
    As I was shouting should that have been in capitals?

  16. Just to add to Vic and Ian’s views on International football.
    Quite frankly I wouldn’t care if it didn’t exist at all. I get far more out of watching league football and if I ever wanted to watch world class players then I’d watch a Barcelona game.
    International tournaments in the Summer don’t do it for me either, as the Summer months are for watching other sport as far as I’m concerned.

  17. It wasn’t actually a meaningless friendly though was it? It was a World Cup qualifier.
    I always think our coverage of this is a bit hypocritical, if there was an England international playing abroad I think people would be up in arms if his club suggested he shouldn’t fly back for a crucial qualifier becasue they pay his wages.
    Other nation’s teams are just as important as ours. Saying all that, it would have been a lot easier if he’d played for Wales!

  18. I read that alan Keen a Labour MP has died. Apparently he was a scout for Boro before becoming an MP?
    **AV writes: Yes. He was a regular on the phone to us getting the gen whenever a big Boro story broke. And he used to give you little snippets of gossip in return. Full story in the Gazette tomorrow.

  19. I don’t know which is worse, talking about the yawning Internationals that bore most of us or Taches. Its easy to see that there is no Boro game for another few days!
    Anyway keep up the good work AV I chipped in my £20 (cheaper than a match day ticket) back end of last week, so come on everyone, its all for a good cause and Heaven forbid that we might personally have grounds to be grateful for the fund raising some day, look at it as some sort of abstract insurance policy!
    **AV writes: Yes, what he said. Come on, don’t let me look a doyle for nothing.

  20. How’s the total AV?
    Apologies for the size of my contribution – it seems the whole world and his dog are growing tashes.
    **AV writes: I’m delighted with every contribution. I’m at about £200 but I’m going to put the squeeze on people at Gazette Towers tomorrow. I might take a bucket around and let people take blackmail pictures on their phones.

  21. Yes, BoroPhil, it would have been great if he’d stuck with Wales. He’d played in the younger age-group teams and with a name like Rhys Williams…come on!
    Actually, Vic, if he played for Wales and with being in the UK so long, would he no longer need a work permit, and therefore not have to play X% of international games in the last two years etc? Whereas if he plays for Australia I guess he has to play so many internationals unless he has a medical excuse, or else his work permit would not be extended/renewed at new contract time?
    And Wales are on the up now, having admittedly been just about as low as it is possible to get. Still, losing to Oman? Isn’t that like, say, Aston Villa losing in the FA Cup to Northallerton Town?
    And finally, it’s good to have you back on this interwebby thing.
    **AV writes: Actually he has dual nationality so doesn’t need a work permit but talk to him and you realise very quickly he is very much a full on Aussie. Even if he was a bit look you boyo issnit you have to suspect he would still opt for the Socceroos and a regular chance at the World Cup rather than a lifetime on the international periphery with the Dragon Botherers.

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