Chain Reaction: Boro Chemistry Revealed

BY POPULAR demand… well the half-hearted request of a few saddos, exiled members of the diasBoro, some test-tube bothering polymer engineers at whatever ICI is called these days and a few lazy A level science students looking for a shortcut in their homework anyway.
Here’s the Boro themed periodic table from this week’s Big Picture, a free-form acid jazz riffing around the complex chemical structure of Boro fandom and the common elements from which our collective supporting personalities are formed. It is linked to a big Mac image so I can’t embed it in the blog. You’ll have to open it and probably view in your computer’s zoomovision.
View image
Feel free to work out your own individual fan formula. Discussing it with fellow terrace chemists on twitter it is clear that during the last 12 months I have been transformed from the negatively charged toxic substance moamium dislavide (MnSl2) to the foaming happy gas holgatium beerite (HgBe) just by adding a little bit of the powerful catalyst mogganite.
Have fun.

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35 thoughts on “Chain Reaction: Boro Chemistry Revealed

  1. Some people in Gazette Towers clearly don’t have enough to do!
    Full colour double-page graphics and a “periodic Table” combining chemistry, history and English (with a nod towards Latin – I loved, but was also a little bit apprehensive about, Relegatium and Liquidatium)….
    A couple of thoughts:
    Some of the elements are very volatile (eg Fabrizium) and some positively explosive when mixed with certain liquors (eg Mersonium).
    Some stable elements can be left alone safely for years (eg Mustonium, Gibsonium and Jonesium).
    There are some you’d like to mix together in a mischievous way and then retire a safe distance to await the results (eg Sounessite and Glovite poured onto Vidukum).
    However I think you must have missed out Eboracum (we are, after all, a small towm in Yorkshire). It should be in the Holgatium column just below Riversidium.
    Really enjoyed reading that…and I’ve gone back to the grapic a few times already. Well thought out!
    **AV writes: It was a bit of fun. I’ve been scribbling the elements out for months. It started with a BJS reference to a penalty powered by Hicktonite.
    Chemically inclined readers (and not ones off their nuts on disco biscuits) feel free to play with it and make some suggestions of formulas for yourself or friends.
    Clearly the volatile radio ranters are corrosives like hydromoanic acid (argumentium dimoanite) or Slavanic acid (booium slavide) while the more foam fingered among our number are comprised of light but easily dissapted gasses like promotium optimite.

  2. Great stuff!
    I would feel a lot more confident about Saturday’s trip to St. Mary’s if we could dig up some of the explosive (if unstable) Mersonium but with the scarcity of the once abundant Bigfeesium we shall have to rely on the same formula that has us in 3rd place.
    Moggonite didefencium (MgDf2) has produced a surplus of pridium of late which, when mixed with it’s occasional by-product, eioium, and the vapour of ayresomium (a noble gas if ever there was one) is creating a chemical cocktail not unlike foam.
    **AV writes: That’s exactly the kind of chemical reaction I was looking for.

  3. Grudjium Jockite… Bernie Slaven
    Hexabeerite Digoalide… me after last week’s 2-0 win
    Mogganite pentaglorium… the basis of Tony Mowbray’s five year plan for world domination.
    Teessidium beeride triparmonite… Phil Stamp’s diet

  4. Ba – Brancanite, a superb finish
    Bo – Branconite, a waste of space
    Mu – Mustoenite, solid at times
    Ki – Kindernite, a nice chocolate
    The list is endless……

  5. What a load of tosh…..
    Of course I was taught my chemistry in the Mackem wastes of the northern side of the river, so I am bound to veer a little off the table.
    Never have i been so encouraged that I am not alone in this world with my rogue element of Guffonium. This is obviously coursing through a certain journos veins.
    EG has to be applauded for using up what would once have been a Neashams double page spread (pre Thatcher) to satisfy the effluent from a clearly fertile yet deranged mind.
    Chemicals have always been big in this area, it seems their effects are still ever present….right I am off up the road to Seaton Canoe to sniff a seal!

  6. Lambonite Dracularium – a mysterious, negatively charged compound which does not react well to light.
    Often found near gibsonium, particularly in the presence of bigfeesium, but forever associated with cynicisium, moanium and booium. Attracted to brazilium but does not mix well with Gateium. Banished shortly after the discovery of moggonite.

  7. Zi – Ziegemite, highly toxious leading to appalling skin conditions.
    Mi – Midomium, heavy metal thought to occur in black holes and Greggs. Sucks the life out of everything around it.
    Al – Alvesminium, lightweight metal with a poor finish
    Be – Beagrillyium. Toxic and according to Wikipedia ”The element is not known to be necessary or useful for either plant or animal life.”
    AV, See what you missed!

  8. What a load of high grade bolonyum. I hated chemmy at school. (Physics wasn’t much better, Joe Grierson our ancient teacher chucking bits of phospherous at us to keep order)
    **AV writes: Calcium carbonate surely?

  9. I am not sure I understand how physics works on Planet Boro if it’s anything like the real world, Gazettium is likely to be the most unstable and radioactive element that has never existed.
    On the other side of the table, Moanium and Slavenite are unlikely to form a compound, they would probably exist as Ayresomide salts, as would Liquidatium.
    Mersonium is an interesting element. Golden in appearance, in the presence of money, it suddenly becomes volatile condensing to form a self-centred base structure.

  10. Come to think of it, the oceans on Planet Boro are likely to comprise a solution of relegatium ayresomide in oxygen dicyniciside. Salt tears indeed.
    More re-assuringly, the ground on which we stand, would contain Brucium dioxide with various oxides of true Teesside Nailsite.

  11. Education experts in decades to come will find it difficult to explain an anomaly that was very local and very time-specific.
    In England & Wales there had been, for many years, a decline in the study of “hard subjects” at GSCE and A-Level. So whilst Media Studies, Hospitality and Leisure & Tourism increased, subjects like Latin, German and classical Greek and science subjects like Chemistry decreased dramatically.
    Into this seemingly inevitable decline there arose a sudden “spike” in students putting themselves forward to study Chemistry in the North Yorkshire and South Durham areas that bordered the lower course of the River Tees. No cause could be established.
    There were suspicions that it was the result of a quasi-religious cult that grew up the shadow of the cathedrals built to worship chemistry – cathedrals which had once been very rich and powerful foundations with tens of thousands of adherents and celebrants, before the Dissolution in the early years of the 21st Century.
    They were centres of learning and producers of commodities that were valued at home and abroad, and even to have a family member who was associated with the cathedrals many years earlier, entitled the family members to draw a regular income for the rest of their lives (something else the historians have recently discovered: “pensions”).
    Their names live on now only in the history books: the great cathedrals at Wilton, Billingham and Carless that once exported their missionaries throughout the world, even as the faith slowly diminished in the UK.
    But research has now identified the cause that previously could not be established. A copy has been discovered of an early manuscript of what is now known to experts as the “ Boro Periodic Table”. It identifies elements clearly known to exist at that time, but whose existence has subsequently been lost in the mists of time. And it is fiery stuff.
    Throughout time, priests, elders and scientists have put forward their theories as to how the substances of the world, the universe, are made up. And as the generations pass, the previous orthodoxies have been ridiculed as they are replaced by the new “true” faith.
    So when for centuries the alchemists believed the universe was made from the four basic elements – fire, water, earth and water – they were later regarded as completely wrong.
    In the 1670’s Johan Becher believed that a fiery element “phlogiston” was contained within all combustible matter, and was released during burning. He, too, was no doubt regarded as being wrong.
    In 1789 Antoine Lavoisier believed all matter was made up from a list of 33 gases, metals, non-metals and earths, and in the 1860’s and 70’s the work of a series of “experts” in a number of countries suggested there was a “Periodic Table” of elements with columns of elements having similar qualities. But every generation believes it has all the answers and is reluctant to accept it is wrong.
    No doubt those dressed in skins and covered in woad believed absolutely that their Gods resided safely within their sacred oak groves, or that there was a God of the River, and a God of Roseberry Topping. And if those beliefs were replaced by incomers following a God of Thunder and one of Lightning, no doubt those incomers were convinced THEIR beliefs were true and would last forever. But they never are.
    So, when that early version of The Boro Periodic Table was discovered, a great deal of research was undertaken and it has now been established that the date of the Table can be narrowed down to the Second Incarnation of Mogga – which is traditionally held to have begun in 2010-11.
    It is believed that this was a time of seething social upheaval and records of the period are incomplete. However, it is known that students of the chemical sciences grew vastly in number within the lower Tees Valley region at this time, and it is now suspected that the Table may be a cause, or at least a symptom, of that growth.
    It may be that the Table was something they worshipped, or that it was revered as an icon. It may have contained within it truths which the followers accepted as being universal. The original might even have been cast in stone – we may never know.
    So, whilst people in the past might have believed in a universe constructed out of combinations of elements such as hydrogen, helium, oxygen and carbon, our scientists will now embark on a new voyage of scientific discovery.
    Maybe faith in the “old” Periodic Table was misplaced and the newly discovered version is the True Path? It is intended to carry out experiments to test the beliefs of the ancients from the banks of the Tees.
    From next week, controlled multi-disciplinary experiments will be undertaken. It is understood these will include:
    1. Mixing equal quantities of Cynicisium, Slavenite, Moanium and Grudgium, after which a group of psychologists will assess the consequences.
    2. Mixing quantities of Mersonium with Beer and Parmonite, with a group of nutritionists assessing the consequences.
    3. Mixing quantities of known “hard but dependable” elements like Boam, Sounessite, and Festanite with some volatiles like Nedkellium to give a durable and useful alloy that would give good service without leaving a bitter taste in the mouth. That is apparently to be tested by the pyrotechnicians.
    As they say: “Watch this space”.

  12. Av – Vickersite: A largely stable element that is most frequently found combined with Gazzettium. Only one element is known to exist, but it ‘puts itself about a bit’, particularly when combined with other elements from the ‘internetium’ series such as ‘bloggism’ and ‘twitterite’.
    The atomic weight is unknown, remaining a point of heavy discussion.
    **AV writes: I’m not sure about the ‘largely stable’ bit…

  13. AV – Brilliant!
    I thought Boatengium was the hardest substance known to man?
    And let’s not forget:-
    Cattermolium – dangerously reactive when mixing it!
    Yakubium – usually inert and unresponsive, often confused with Ulazygittium.
    Marinellium- originally described as the new Maradonnium, but flattered to deceive and fizzled out quickly.
    Briandeanium- enormously heavy and slow to react.
    And of course, Strachanite – the most completely noxious substance ever encountered on Planet Boro. It rendered everything it touched totally useless.
    I’d like to think that Toon fans have a similar chemistry. Their most significant element is undoubtedly Bigclubmyarsium.
    **AV writes: Delusium; Boycoutanite; Manboobium; etc

  14. Ue – Unclericium, forms a number of stable compounds especially with Gibsonium. Originally thought to always be present alongside Gazzettium.
    It is believed to have an effect on Av (Vickersite) which in previous studies was thought to be largely stable.
    The absence of Ue could lead to Av emitting light from the red end of the spectrum as the moderating influence is removed.
    Red light is emitted as objects move away and proponents of this theory propose that this happens when Av is ‘off on one’.
    At the moment their is little evidence of the effect of Ue away from Gazzettium.

  15. Ref my previous on Joe Grierson’s disciplinary methods. No it was not chalk – it was indeed small pieces of phospherous.
    He used to keep it in a jar of water on his desk and quickly fish a piece out and throw it at the poor culprit before it burnt his fingers.
    Lots of us had small burn holes in our blazer, anybody else out there who went to Brackenhoe Tech in the mid-sixties who remembers?
    (AV, I might not have been very good at chemmy but I did know the difference between chalk and phospherous – what school do you think I went to, Langbargh?)
    Saw today that Alan Smith is being sent out on loan by the skunks. Hav’nt a clue what his fitness etc is like now, might he be worth a go?
    **AV writes: I thought phosphorus was banned under the Geneva Convention… although I’m not sure that applied in Teesside schools.

  16. Wonderful stuff AV.
    Eioium (116) being the volume of gas released as aural energy that is produced following the reaction of Goalite (22) with Riversidium (35).
    I would buy a framed copy of your periodic table if it was available – you should get on to Neil Bausor immediately. Unless, of course, he reads the Gazette every night. Haha.

  17. Only hope Batesy is fit for the weekend and we play the three centre backs. As I wrote previously they look quite a good side, big, strong and a fair bit of pace and craft, a draw would be a good result for me.
    Anyone noticed how well (and quietly) Birmingham seem to be doing lately.
    (Peaeye, Grierson, Bagley and Smudger Smith, now that would have made a good half back line, bleeding pychopaths. We go on about the likes of Souness, Boam etc; as being hardcases but they couldn’t hold a candle to those three brick out-houses.)

  18. Can’t believe one of the most toxic and coorosive elements(Lambnoxiousium) has been excluded from the Planet Boro periodic table).
    It might have been neutralised in recent times but an historical table should reflect it’s key impact and contribution to the Cy (cynicism) column.
    The toxic effect on Planet Boro’s vital organs of the commercial and pr function have been legendary, and incidently judging by todays apparent lack of spark and inspiration is soon be diagnosed as clinically dead.
    The mighty Newcastle deem it necessary to reduce ticket prices while the small town in Yorkshire club, with the complementary mindset do not: Planet Boro indeed.
    If ever a scenario of live tv coverage on a Guy Fawkes night at the Riverside stadium, screamed out for measures to supplement or even safeguard our already meagre attendances then this is surely it.
    What is being proposed? Absolutely “nowt”, that’s what – as usual. I declare the above diagnosis as QED
    **AV writes: I believe the fans’ forum this week raised the question of ticketing initiatives and were met with bemused silence . I think the club believed that Mogganite + the prospect of Promotium would lead automatically to a big upturn in crowds. That hasn’t happened, at least not in significant numbers.
    There has been an increase in gates. Under Strachan the crowds were announed as 15k or so, but the club admited they were started by counting all ST whether they attended or not and if must be widely suspected that the real figure was often close to the 12k mark. Now they are running at the 17k mark (and I believe that figure now).
    But Boro are unbeaten at home, have a popular manager, are playing vastly improved football and are at the top of the table but it has happened against a very bleak economic backdrop and for all the positives still they can’t break the glass ceiling of the trigger gate figure that got Southgate sacked.
    It is definitely time for a rethink and some innovation and creativity, especially as the local economy is now in a steady decline with no immediate prospect of an upturn.

  19. Cheers AV.
    “I believe the fans’ forum this week raised the question of ticketing initiatives and were met with bemused silence”
    You wonder what planet the club are on sometimes, they really are hard to defend on some issues.
    Just slash ticket prices, no need for fancy inititatives. £10 to get in until Xmas.
    **AV writes: The problem they have is that every time they try price-cutting (which is the only rational business response to unsold stock) they have to contend with a small group of zealous calculator clutching existing ST holders screaming that they are being ripped off.
    That is why it needs to be ‘creative’ – and why they only ever do one offs that are fatally susceptable to one bad perfromance rather than sustained campaigns – because they need to square that particular circle

  20. Lambnoxiousium….
    I thought this element would be easily erradicated, washed off with a bit of Stardrops, however with comments about how the commercial side is still lumbering on with the imaginary vision of a Blue Square operation it makes you wonder if its half life is much greater than we all expected?
    With the usual “your not a true fan if…” sentiments that always go around when times are hard, its precisely the time when the club needs to encourage back those “supporters” who for a multitude of real life reason, make the choice whether or not to attend.
    Reducing the price of a season ticket for the loyal and early adopters must surely be worth considering. The past says that a full house is acheivable if the perceived value is acheived, its obvious that the price is simply too high to get back those full houses!
    This of course ignores the effects that dour football has over the latter Premiership survival seasons. Unless you are truly committ(able)ed most people have fuller lives than the days of yore when footie was possibly your only outlet for two hours once a week, the worlds moved on, some of us even wash up at home these days!

  21. Further to Ian Gill’s comments on getting fingers burnt. I think old Joe Grierson must have left his jar of phospherous to MFC when he retired, judging by the number of times the club has suffered from flaming digits after paying zillions for worthless duds.
    Percypieblocks –
    I didn’t mention Bagley so you must have some inside knowledge, as he was the sinister, though fortunately frequently absent, Chemmy teacher at Brackenhoe Tech

  22. If I was the club I’d risk upsetting a few season ticket holders (certainly would not upset me) and just give it a go. £10 in v Watford, let’s see how many we get. 18k, ok the experiment is a failure. 25k, great atmosphere – that might even convince a few of the zealots. I don’t really see what they have to lose.

  23. The idea of selling tickets at a competitive price and angering the present season ticket holders could easily be overcome by simply saying if we get promotion present day season ticket holders cost will stay the same but new season tickets will be sold at a premium. You may even see more season tickets sold now for the remaining fixtures based on that

  24. Am I right in thinking that Scott MacDonald will be facing former club Southampton for the first time tomorrow? If so, he’s nailed on to end his drought and score isn’t he? Or have I been at the Eioium again?
    Soton 2-2 Boro – MacDonald and Robson.

  25. Common sense from Mogga on fan numbers, it will take time to rebuild the home fan base.
    We have been well supported away from home for some time and it is a great experience being in the Parmo Army.
    We know there are reasons for the results at home but five draws in seven matches is not going to drag fans to the Riverside yet. That doesnt mean that if we had won five and drawn two there would have been 25,000.
    There are still things the club could do without alienating season ticket holders.
    *Give BoroPride members the chance to buy blocks of tickets at further discounts.
    *Have reward schemes where purchases in the sundry outlets including tickets add up to real benefits.
    *Offer season ticket holders the chance to bring a friend for £10.
    But it all comes back to the match day experience. Win matches and the fans will gradually return, stay in the promotion mix and things will improve.
    Oddly the prospect of the play offs and a trip to Wembley may do more for attendances than automatic promotion as suddenly 30,000 were all present all season.

  26. BoroPhil & AV:
    Obviously I am an ST holder. Obviously I’d like to have value for money and I suppose I would notice if other people were seen to be getting better value than me by NOT getting an ST, on the back of “deals” the club might offer.
    On the other hand, I’d like to see the ground full again, or at least fuller than now. The gate money would be useful to the club now the enormous Sky payments are no longer received, there would be increased money going into the club’s coffers from incidental sales (beer, coffee, burgers etc at the match) AND the atmosphere would most likely improve.
    The question is how to achieve that increase in ticket sales. If done correctly, it might be hoped those additional supporters would go on to buy an ST of their own, so the club would get the money early, and could prepare its budget for the next year accordingly.
    Isn’t that what marketing people are supposed to be doing? Finding schemes that seem fair to those who have already paid, whilst tapping into a new market from those who otherwise wouldn’t go to the match but might just be tempted by a nicely pitched offer?
    It shouldn’t really need people like me to come up with ideas. I don’t pretend to know about marketing or sales, but I recall on this blog maybe a year ago (maybe longer – time goes so quickly when one is enjoying oneself) that some contributors who evidently DID have knowledge of sales came up with their ideas.
    In the final analysis, whilst it would be a bit of a heart-sinker to realise that I could have saved money by NOT having an ST, I want the club to be successful, and that does mean trying to tempt people back into the ground.
    There could be lots of little wheezes: everyone buying a ticket for a particular game (so this would include ST holders) could get an extra ticket for £10; if the club believes a particular match is likely to be poorly attended (eg Reading at home) it could be announced that any ST holder and anyone else who has had tickets for 5 home games can get a ticket for that game free…. Just a little imagination.
    In any well-run business, there should be no “bemused silence” when questions are asked about schemes to get more people to matches. Shouldn’t the club have been there before us on that one? “No, we don’t think that would work because of X, Y & Z, but we are planning to make these offers…..what do you think about them instead?”
    MFC is a business where most of its customers are desperate for it to succeed. It has a brand loyalty and there must be former customers out there who would like to be temped back into the fold. If they come back and like what they see, they might stay.
    Has the club, for example, written to people on its database of former ST holders and match ticket buyers, to make an offer DIRECTLY to them?
    There could be many variations, such as: “We know you used to have an ST. We are keen to show supporters like yourself a revolution has taken place at our club and we want you to be a part of it as we hopefully progress together. To help you see how much has changed, we would like to offer you a ticket for the XXX game at half-price if you buy it by 12/12/11 either online by quoting the code above or by producing this letter at the ticket office. Come back into the fold and see how much you enjoy it..”
    It would be a very bad sign if there is no-one within the club who can come up with a suitably creative offer to put forward to potential ticket-buyers. Tell me it ain’t so…
    **AV writes: To be fair they have tried a few times a season for the last few seasons to do “ST buy two extra for a tenner” type schemes and it has put a couple on thousand on the gate each time so they know they will work.
    In the past at fans’ forums when such ideas – and many others – have been floated they have always been met by quite strident opposition from other fans (mainly ST) and that indicated to the club officials there that anything too radical or permanent would cause friction and possibly offer some people a reason/excuse to give up their own ST and so the net outcome would be neutral in terms of numbers and cash.
    The real problem is that so many people see buying a ST as a primarily financial transaction (and the club have sold it as such) and so any marketing initiatives are seen as directly affecting the basis on which they were bought. That is why the kneejerk response by any ST holders to any proposed deal is to say “I’m losing out – even when generally they aren’t.
    The key is going to be changing that perception. The ST must be re-engineered to represent an emotional investment (if one with economic benefits) and holders must be made to feel valued and included beyond the credit card payment. Being a ST should be ‘special’ and offer some far wider cultural value. Then there would be less reason to complain about some grubby commercial transaction by part-timers.

  27. Hello all Boro fans. A most interesting match coming up at Soton. I’m gutted I have to skip the BJS this weekend. I am visiting Turkesy with a couple of customers this weekend. I haven’t seen Boyd here yet – we have checked a few nice restaurants already.
    Halifaxp – I might have to send a few SMSs to know the score. My prediction is a surprise 1 – 2 result for the alchemists from Teessidiums. Up the Boro!

  28. Really enjoyed this – lovely work, AV, the best sort of silliness.
    In a tribute to the ending of Tom Lehrer’s “The Elements”:
    “These are the only ones of which the news has reached the Gazette, And there may be many others, but we haven’t made them up yet. ”

  29. Pointless predicting this afternoon’s game. Many teams will go to S’oton and be stuffed this season and if that happens to us we will obviously lose ground against the other teams massing around and just below us. It would also make it 2 losses out of three and a potential loss of momentum, as S’ton steam well ahead.
    A draw would be a good result there, though we would probably slide a little bit in the table due to others’ results. A draw would show we can compete with the best in this division and manintain hope we won’t be here next season.
    A win away? Not out of the question in view of our away form in the league, and that really WOULD be a big result. It would show we are bang up there and maybe even favourites to be promoted. The bandwagon would roll and confidence would be sky high.
    I think I will risk a little sit on the fence. I know what I hope for but don’t want to jinx it.
    Exciting, isn’t it? A lot better than 13 months ago!
    **AV writes: Hedgebettium BiFudgite?

  30. On the ticket price issue one of the better ways to discount the price is to hide the discount or make it coincidental.
    The club may have tried this in the past i am not sure..
    But if you spend (as an example not the actual deal) 40 quid in the club shop you get a free ticket and the option of a second for a tenner. Or spend 50 and get two tickets. show two receipts of 30 quid and get one ticket. Buy anything over a tenner four weeks in a row, collect your stamps and get a ticket….
    Find a way of offering a discounted ticket but tagging the ticket with the purchase of something else.
    Its harder for the ST to complain as it is not a direct price discount. And hopefully they see the value in the additional purchases for the club and the ticket give-away is not so sensitive
    Need to get some alternative sources of Vl – valuinium on the chart

  31. Slightly crazier idea on tickets but it solves every problem..
    Send every ST a letter and questionnaire. Ask them if they are or are not happy for discounted tickets to be offered.
    The ST holders can say how many tickets, over how many games (with tick boxes) and to what level prices can come down.
    The price discounts are then based on what the ST holders reply with.
    The ST should then feel valued, their opinions count, part of the club etc etc and not feel aggrieved as their majority dictates the changes in price and volume of discounted tickets to be offered.
    The club cannot be blamed for angering the ST holders and its a great we’re in this together – you decided for the better of the club – type situation.

  32. so next season then season ticket holders may as well not renew and wait for the cheap offers.
    Season ticket prices should be even cheaper to offset the ticket offers made during the season

  33. Alleleuia!
    Doug, at last some common sense. Yours is not a crazy idead at all, in fact the polar opposite.
    However,I think the issue of ticket pricing policy and promotions to engineer match day attendences have been so undermined by the current parlous state of the club; to the extent that it can be argued that even radical price restructuring would have limited impact, especially next week.
    The policy has been left dead in the water. We have been reduced to such a state, that the old adage “you can’t give them away” is becoming a stark reality.
    Remember we struggled to get full houses for local derbies in recent times, which tells me it should have been looked at then – just as the Geordies are having to now.
    The crucial point you so ably highlight is the club’s chronic lack of connectivity and understanding of what the majority view is on such major and vital issues.
    It’s pathetic how they demonstrate their expertise in knee jerk reactions to complaints whinges, gripes and small minded grumbles, from what may well be a small minority of the fan base.
    Witness the farcical incredible, embarrassing and shocking reaction to the complaints of a tiny minority of fans in the south east corner about the level of crowd noise.
    It seemed as if the quietness of the Riverside had become such a norm that they accepted the premise of the complaint, took it at face value and attacked the members of the “Red Faction” for trying to create an atmosphere – guilty as charged, you would honestly think these unruly, young wretches were at a football match, displaying such unruly behaviour, disgusting, yes keep the bloody noise down.
    I say may well be advisedly, because nobody knows what the majority view is on the crucial issue of pricing policy and all related issues to price promotions etc. – least of all the club.
    Many other clubs, most “smaller” than us, have wrestled with this problem and have had some success in engineering attendances. Blackburn are a prime example of this and they achieved their goal by the very technique you suggest.
    They have a history of commissioning polling of their fan base; especially the stay away element of it with a view to addressing their concerns and getting them back on board. This is a Premier League club that realised it had to work its socks off to guard against losing its P.L. status.
    One of the ways was by communicating and being fair to the fans a stark contrast to a a club like ours that all the while, arrogantly took its fan base for granted.
    And therein lies a big problem.

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